Q: I can't believe you recommended my daughter and son-in-law buy that little house you showed us last week.

It's not in any of the neighborhoods that I recommended to them and it's really kind of crummy and way too small. We really want to have them live here so that they can be near us, but I don't want to see them living in a dump.

A: There seem to be several issues here. First, I would suggest that you and your husband drive around and take a look at everything available in your daughter's price range. Our prices are lower than they've been for many years and it's only been in the last six months or so that we've seen a few homes come on the market that your daughter and her husband can afford. Looking at everything available should give you a sort of "reality check" about what they can expect to find.

In addition, you should realize that the needs of a young couple just starting out will be different than those of us that have owned several homes over a lifetime. I sometimes have to remind myself that my first house was a real disaster. It was in a "marginal" neighborhood and looked awful, but it was in my price range, in a good location for my job, and was something I could fix up myself. It turned out to be a great home for me and I have many fond memories of my time there.

I would also add that if you want something better for your children you might consider giving them a gift of money to help them move up to a higher price range. It's common for parents to help their children buy their first home and there are some tax advantages to doing so. Check with your accountant.

It's hard not to want the very best for your children. But I think it's important to let them make their own decisions, hopefully with some suggestions from you and the help of a few well recommended professionals.