Q: New neighbors have moved in and I am very upset about what they are doing.

I've lived in the same house on Vashon for over 30 years. Our new neighbors have taken out two beautiful big trees and are building a big fence around their yard. No one on our block has ever had a fence. We have always thought it was much more neighborly to leave all of the yards open. I spoke to the new neighbors about it and they don't seem to care what the neighborhood thinks. Do you have any suggestions?

A: People moving into a new community bring the values and habits of their old neighborhoods with them. Perhaps these folks lived in an area where privacy was very hard to come by and all of the houses had fences. They could also be fearful of trees falling on their house in a wind storm, or being a fire danger, and that's why they cut down the trees.

There is probably nothing you can do to remove the fence and you certainly can't replace the trees. What you can do is to back off of your negative attitude and try to slowly make friends with these folks. It may take awhile. They may be mistrustful, based on past experiences, as well as from your initial contact with them.

Most of us don't like change. We also don't like people who have different values than ours. But having a cordial relationship with neighbors is too important to let these issues drive us into a neighborhood war over every little thing. In an emergency, we need each other. Plus, life is simply more pleasant when we learn to care about others. Sorry to sound like I'm preaching, but getting clear on what really matters is important.

Sometimes, when you make the effort, you can gently educate people about the value of trees for wildlife, shade, and oxygen. It's always best to do this by example. You can also help them to trust you so that one day they may not feel the need for fences. Good luck.