Q: We can't decide what to do about buying another home.

We were recently married and each have a house on Vashon. Mine is a small cabin in the woods and my husband has a really nice large home. We sort of want to keep one for a rental and sell the other so that we can get a new place that's just "ours", with no past connections to his former mate. That may sound stupid, but it's what we really want to do. The problem is that mine is paid for but not worth much and his is worth more but heavily mortgaged. Nothing seems to work out financially. Ideas?

A: After looking at your little cabin I can see that an addition could work really well. Your husband owes a large mortgage on his house but he will still make enough selling it to afford a good sized addition to your little house. That could mean you are free of a mortgage and in a house that holds no bad memories.

Many times the answer to a problem isn't to buy or sell real estate. Sometimes just looking at all of the options available to you opens the door to a great solution. Of course I'd love to sell you a new home, but that probably isn't the best solution for your problem. The problem is really the desire to be rid of the memories that your husband has of his former wife. By selling his home he gets rid of that problem and by involving himself in a remodel of your home he has the chance of making it his own.

Sit down and think through what you could do with your little house to make it a shared dream. Then put your ideas on paper and start talking to builders, designers or architects. I'll bet you can come up with something that solves your housing needs, puts you in a great place financially and fulfills your desire for a shared "nest" to start your new life together.